Missing Month

So, as someone kindly pointed out...it's been a while. I guess the month of February wasn't all that fascinating. It was mostly filled with stress and anger and pain. Not physical pain, just pain. I guess I'm still feeling that pain. It's trying to figure out what that pain is that's the problem, you know.

People, and by people I mean you, yes Darling, you, always ask me what's wrong, and I really do mean it when I say that I don't know. I feel like that's my saving grace though...in a weird, twisted kind of sense. I feel like knowing what hurts would make it hurt worse and I can't take that right now. Maybe when the stress dies down, maybe when I feel like I can keep it all together. But I just can't deal with that right now...if that's alright with you. I know you want what's best for me, I really do, but this is something that I really can't be pushed on. I trust you to respect that, and you really respected that lately. I really, really appreciate that and all I'm asking for is a little more time. Just a little more time. Thank you.

Trust is a funny thing, if you think about it really. Especially with us. I'm sorry that you doubt my trust in you sometimes, because God knows that you deserve my trust more than anyone. I just, I'm stupid. Real stupid. I can't get over stuff that I totally should have been way over a long time ago...and it's hurting me still which is just stupid. Gah. Anyyyyywayyyyy. I think I've given you enough to digest tonight.

Don't you think?